A friend of mine posted on Facebook about the new Agents of SHIELD spinoff, commenting that in the not-to-distant future, all we’d have would be Marvel-inspired versions of our favorite shows, like Law & Order: Special Villains Unit or Pride and Prejudice and the Punisher.
I was charmed by the idea of Lizzie Bennett going on a refined killing spree, but of course, she’d need the correct incentive. Cue my Frank Castle-style response.
“Pride and Prejudice and The Punisher”: It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you do away with a woman’s stoic husband, her distant father, her hypochondriac mother, or any of her flighty younger sisters, you might be forgiven for such behavior. However, should you murder her sweet eldest sister Jane, you shall be in for a world of pain. Look into my very fine eyes, gentlemen. Shall I show you what a woman of accomplishment may accomplish when driven to the extreme?”
My friend then started giving me prompts. Sense, Sensibility, and the Silver Surfer? DONE:
“I am Margaret Dashwood, Rider of the Cosmic Winds, Seeker beyond the Veil of Knowledge, HERALD OF GALACTUS!”
Jean Eyre has too many perfect opportunities. I’m torn between:
“Do you know where the wicked go after death?”
“They go to hell.”
“And what is hell? Can you tell me that?”
“A pit full of fire.”
“And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?”
“What must you do to avoid it?”
“I must become fire and life incarnate!”
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you. I am Phoenix. I am power incarnate. You are nothing. Less than nothing.”
I’m posting because I love this idea, but also to create a record in case I ever decide to do a fanfic series 😀