So, a friend of mine posted an encounter she had with a guy who has (and has demonstrated in the past) sexist-asshole behavior.  F-locked, or I’d link it.  I’m posting my response (expanded upon a bit πŸ™‚ ), because it sparked an idea for a project that I think would be kinda cool:

"This is one of the socialization/language traps (in the Deborah Tannen sense) that I still fall into and wish I could train myself out of: that urge in the moment to be conciliating and non-confrontational. 

This circumstance is at its most annoying when I point out to someone what I’m doing, and they’re all: "No, guys do that too.  That’s just how people are."  And I’m like… no.  You don’t get it. My inital urge is to placate out of a fear of sexualized abuse and/or gendered social wrongdoing.  And it’s only when I have a few moments to process after that urge that I can throw off those coded behaviors.

The issue is not even what I’m doing so much as why I’m doing it.  Fairy tales still hold sway over me.  I’m supposed to speak softly, be yielding, have no voice, have no hands.  When an abuser abuses me, I’m supposed to sneak off after they’re done.  Salvation lies in silent flight, not in confrontation.

God, wouldn’t it be great to go through and rewrite the entire Grimm catalogue with combatting those behaviors and offering alternatives as the defining rubric?  That’d be a cool project.

Cause all I need is more cool projects.  Maybe I can make it a community effort?"

Heh.  So… anyone want in?  Grab yourself a Grimm and let’s get cracking!

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14 thoughts on “

  1. Not sure you saw this..so…

    Dear Foxes and anyone else that might be interested,
    If you see this please respond. Wally and I and some other friends from up North are planning of going up to the Bristol Renn Faire in Milwakee on Aug. 5 and wish you would join us. We will leave our place late Friday night and stay with friends that night in Valpo, then Sat. morning we drive to Milwakee and enjoy the Faire then hit the Safehouse for fun and drinks and stay in a hotel that night, then drive back down on Sunday.

    This Fiare is huge and should be a great deal of fun, and we miss you guys.

    Let us know what’s up.

    Love,
    Dillo

  2. Utterly amazing… I’m still grinning in stunned glee. πŸ™‚ Thank you for this brilliant opportunity to play the only NPC that I have ever actively wanted to play – multiple times. Cead Mille Go Raibh Maith’ad… wow

  3. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you and all STs. Dahlink, if you love the nobility, well it is in part your glamour and love of us that made the characters that way. πŸ™‚

  4. TBH, I’m still nervous about how to deal with him, because I didn’t blow him off so I can just see “oh you led him on.” I should have known he was interested in me, why else would a man talk to me? Like, legitimately nervous and grateful I didn’t have a facebook for him to find and hoping he doesn’t show up at my doorstep. =/

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