Beowulf

See it in 3D at an IMAX theater. Really.

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7 thoughts on “Beowulf

    • You really, really must.

      As to the icon, I pretty much walked out of the theater last night, turned to the fox, and said, “Y’know, Grendel’s mom is not only the quintessential, but also kinda the literary definitive of the MILF… especially when she’s played by Angelina Jolie.”

      It’s probably the real reason Grendel is so ticked. All the guys in Hrothgar’s drinking hall are like, “dude, yer mom is hot.”

      “Ted: [Whispering to Bill] Your stepmom is cute.
      Bill: Shut up, Ted.
      Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
      Bill: Shut up, Ted!

      Ted: Now your dad’s actually going for it in your room.
      Bill: Shut up, Ted.
      Ted: Your step-mom is cute, though.
      Bill: Shut up, Ted!
      Ted: Remember when I asked her to the prom?
      Bill: [shouts] Shut up, Ted! “

      • *snicker*
        [Three figures sit outside the local Burger Jarl]
        [Sven]-Dude, Grendel, is that your mom?
        [Jorg]-Whoa.
        [Grendel]-Shut up dudes.
        [Sven]-Seriously. Dude, seriously. Your mom? Hot.
        [Jorg]-Seriously hot.
        [Sven]-HAWT.
        [Grendel]-Shut up, man, that’s my mom you’re talking about!
        [Jorg]-I’d do her.
        [Grendel]-Fuckwich?! What did I just…
        [Sven]-Hellz yeah, I’d be all up in her shit. Dude, is it true she uses her tail to…
        [Grendel]-BY THE FUCKING WORLD TREE I WILL REND YOU GUYS LIMB FROM LIMB AND SUCK THE MARROW FROM YOUR WOMEN’S BONES *runs off crying*
        [Jorg]-Whoa.
        [Sven]-Looks like someone didn’t get his ritalin today…
        [Grendel]-(in the distance) Fuckwaaaaaaddddssss!

      • Dude. Grendel’s Mom was hawt. Does the movie need to be any good?

        Seriously, I really don’t like the uncanny, wax doll-like quality of the motion capture animation. It works awesome for Grendel, his mom, and the entire Boss battle at the end. The battles were amazing to watch, especially in 3D. The pacing was good, as was the script, and David and I both agree that we liked the ambiguous non-hollywood ending. On the other hand, the “acting” was… waxy and wooden and doll-like and uninteresting. When you’ve got a cast like they’ve got, and the most convincing and nuanced performances come from the monsters, you’ve got a problem with the tech upstaging the actors. And keep in mind, I’m not really a luddite when it comes to these kinds of things; I don’t have any kind of big investment in “real” people being better than digital people. They were just trying too hard to make their digital people “real” (and failing), rather than developing a good aesthetics of virtuality.

        As David said, there are portions of the film I would watch again and again, and I’m glad I saw the whole thing once in an IMAX 3D theater, but as a whole, I don’t think it’ll be a rewatch for me.

        Except for Grendel’s mom. And the totally awesome End-Boss.

      • FYI:

        I no longer have any contact information for you except e-mail. If you would be so kind as to send new phone numbers by e-mail shana DOT siegel AT gmail

        I promise not to call often, but it would have been nice to wish you a happy birthday. And it might be nice to say Happy Thanksgiving or something.

        Devon, worked on his birthday. What did you do with yours?

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